I recently read a article about how crucial it is for your children not to be the most important thing if you life. It sounded strange at first until I started reading more of the article. They explained that a lot of couples lives solely revolve around their children. Their identity and everything they do revolve around them. This can be dangerous for a marriage. Eventually your kids will leave and you will be left with a empty shell of a relationship that no longer has the substance and fire it once did. The children were the result of a loving marriage the marriage was never a result of having children.
I think there is some powerful truths that can be taken away from this article. Lacey and I talked about this idea even before we had kids. I know when your a parent its hard enough to find time away from your children. It is essential for couples to find that time with one another. Whether its after the kids go to bed, on a date night with a babysitter or some other way. Lacey and I strive to find that time to connect on that one on one level as much as we can. We realize that there is a time when our children will no longer be in the house with us and we will have a empty nest. We both agree that is not the time to deal with this issue. It requires prevantative steps to avoid a problem that may arise in the future.
What are things you and your spouse like doing together? (This is something lacey and I struggle with even while we were dating) Is it going to coffee shops? Watching TV/Movies? Camping? Kayaking? Whatever it may be its crucial to find the time to do something together that you both enjoy.
I”m not just just a husband and I’m not just a father, I’m both at the same time. I’m the same person but I have two completely separate roles in my life. I’m called to care and love my spouse and to love and care for my children. Those roles look totally different. The way I love my children looks different than the way I love my wife and vice versa.
What are you doing to grow the bond you have with your spouse in the midst of busy schedules and crazy nights with children? It may be hard today but it will grow your marriage in a way that will only benefit your children in the long run. They will see a love between their parents that a lot of children don’t have the opportunity to see. It will provide longevity and youthfulness to your marriage. Keep the fire lit in your marriage whatever the cost may be.